Agentic AI Is Quietly Eating the Enterprise – And It’s Funded Like a God

Summary

Agentic AI isn’t a buzzword anymore.
It’s the VC-backed, policy-blessed monster automating everything from HR to supply chains.
And you’ve probably never heard of it.

So… what the hell is Agentic AI?

Think of it as GPT’s smarter, more dangerous sibling.
Whereas generative AI waits for prompts and spits out essays, Agentic AI wakes up, looks around, and decides what needs doing.

It plans, executes, adapts, and keeps going—kind of like a middle manager on steroids.
Except it never sleeps, doesn’t take PTO, and, unfortunately, doesn’t need a team lunch.

The Money: Why VCs Are Obsessed

Thinking Machines Lab – $2B Seed Round (yes, billion)

Founded by ex-OpenAI stars Mira Murati and John Schulman, this 6-month-old startup just raised $2B at a $10B valuation.
Not Series C. Not even Series A. Seed.
That’s “we don’t have a product yet, but here’s your money anyway” energy.

Investors? Andreessen Horowitz, Conviction, Accel—basically the AI Midas crowd.

Glean – $150M for AI that actually does work

Glean raised $150M (Series F) to scale its “Work AI” agents—basically enterprise bots that answer your questions, route your files, and book your meetings before you finish the sentence.

Over 1 billion agent actions projected this year.
You know, just casual assistant-level singularity.

Databricks – $15.3B to dominate AI infra

You thought OpenAI was rich?
Databricks raised $10B equity + $5.3B debt at a $62B valuation to build the pipes for every LLM, chatbot, and enterprise brain that follows.

Meta, QIA, Temasek—everyone’s in.

Where It’s Already Working

Agentic AI isn’t coming.
It’s already replying to your Slack messages.

What Changed in Policy?

• Executive Order 14179 – Bye-bye regulation, hello "American AI dominance"
• OMB memos (M-25-21/22) – Streamlining federal AI adoption; think “GPT-as-a-government-employee”
• $500M Commerce injection – Federal funding for commercial AI infrastructure
• OpenAI x DoD Pilot ($200M) – OpenAI is literally modernizing military admin with agents now
• But: The 10-year state regulation moratorium? Killed in Congress. Apparently, someone read the fine print.

The Market's Going Crazy

Capgemini says 82% of enterprises plan to use AI agents by 2027.
But Gartner warns: 40% of projects will be canceled before then.

Because, sure, agents are smart—but integration bills, GPU costs, and “ethical oversight” still exist.

Should You Care?

Yes. Especially if you:

• Run a team drowning in Slack threads and manual workflows
• Sell software to enterprises who think Zapier is “automation”
• Invest in anything with the word “orchestration layer” in the deck
• Or, you know… don’t want your job replaced by a bot that can negotiate vendor contracts and plan your kid’s birthday party

Takeaways

• Agentic AI = autonomous, goal-driven AI that acts, learns, and adapts
• Backed by billions in VC money (and now government contracts)
• Already impacting banking, supply chains, HR, and SaaS
• Huge upside, but high risk of failure without strategy, governance, and budget
• Might be the best (or worst) intern you’ll ever hire